whyyyyyyyyyyy

couldnt get to sleep today,

and i kept thinking of gong gong.

had the sudden urge to msg my parents to tell them i love them.

and den.... mummy call me and ask me

" ARE U OKAY?!"

i replied ya why.. she say.. the msg sounded like a goodbye msg.

cause i told her previously tt i was in so much pain i wished i could join gong gong.

so that gong gong wont be lonely.. so that i wont be in pain.

before she put down the phone.. she told me.. love u too.:)

i know people around my age wont do something like tt.

i guess im closer to my parents after everything happened.

when we send gong gong off, we hugged each other and cried.

it was really emotional.

now that im not working and doing nothing, i keep thnking of gong gong.

everyday, i still tear for him..

they say time heals.. bullshit..

mum msged me ytd saying

she really cannot accept the fact tt he is gone..

nobody can.. people tell us not to cry so he can go in peace..

but its hard. they are suppose to bring me to genting on my 21st bday.

now, he will never see me turn 21..

everythng this year was the last for him.

last birthday, last national day jia tok ( some chinese dinner thingy ).

last chinese new year.. last time cooking for me.. last time sending us to school..

last time driving to fetch him.. last time buying food for us..

gong gong.. i miss you .......................................................................

bro say, gonggong say he had a dream tt he will pass away in october.

but tell him not to tell us..

gong gong why didnt u tell me.. WHYYYYYYY......

actually.. i wanted to blog something else, but i just couldnt stop thinking of gong gong..

hope he is doing fine up there..

love you..

xoxo,

mantha.